CHEATING IN RELATIONSHIPS: THE EFFECTS ON MENTAL HEALTH
WHAT IS CHEATING?
PSYCHOLOGICAL EFFECTS OF CHEATING:
Cheating and infidelity have profound consequences on the mental health of the partner who has been betrayed. A 2023 study found that women facing threats of marital dissolution or infidelity were six times more likely to be diagnosed with major depression than those who hadn't experienced these issues. The victims of cheating reported increased symptoms of depression and anxiety, with significant psychological distress linked to intrusive thoughts, post-traumatic stress, and memories of their unfaithful relationships. Infidelity's impact extends beyond immediate heartbreak, deeply affecting emotional, mental, and relational well-being.
1. Emotional Trauma and Shock:
- The immediate aftermath of infidelity often triggers intense emotional trauma, shock, disbelief, and profound betrayal, akin to grieving.
- In situations involving couples with children, there is a higher risk of emotional trauma in childhood. This can occur when children witness intense emotions such as sadness, anger, fear, confusion, and shame at a young age.
2. Loss of Trust:
- Infidelity shatters the foundational trust in a relationship, a critical component of emotional security.
- Rebuilding trust is daunting, often accompanied by persistent insecurity and hypervigilance.
- Betrayed individuals struggle to trust everyone around them, potentially leading to a cycle of anxiety and emotional detachment.
3. Low Self-Esteem:
- Many betrayed partners experience a severe blow to their self-esteem and self-worth.
- They may internalize the betrayal, questioning their adequacy or attractiveness and feeling rejected.
- This diminished sense of self-worth often contributes to depression, anxiety, panic, and a long-term erosion of confidence.
4. Depression, Anxiety & Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD):
- The emotional turmoil from infidelity frequently leads to several mental illnesses.
- Betrayed partners may feel persistently sad, hopeless, and disconnected from others, losing interest in previously enjoyed activities and finding it hard to deal with depressive thoughts.
- Anxiety can manifest as intrusive thoughts, fear of further betrayal, or a pervasive sense of unease, often accompanied by physical symptoms like sleep disturbances or loss of appetite.
- Betrayed individuals may experience flashbacks, nightmares, and heightened emotional sensitivity, often feeling "stuck" in the trauma.
5. Feelings of Loneliness:
- Betrayed partners often experience profound isolation and fear of missing out, especially if they feel unable to confide in friends or family due to shame or fear of judgment.
- This isolation intensifies feelings of loneliness and exacerbates depression and suicidal thoughts as individuals withdraw from social interactions and struggle to relate to others' experiences.
6. Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms:
- Some individuals resort to maladaptive coping strategies to numb the pain, such as substance abuse, overeating, or overworking.
- These behaviors may provide temporary relief but often lead to additional mental health issues like addiction or emotional detachment, further complicating recovery and making it hard to manage everyday stress and anxieties.
ROLE OF SOCIAL MEDIA IN INCREASING INFIDELITY:
Social media plays a significant role in exacerbating infidelity by creating easy opportunities for secrecy and boundary-crossing. Platforms enable private communication through direct messages and flirtations. The constant exposure to curated images of others can spark comparisons, dissatisfaction, or curiosity, leading some to seek validation outside their relationships. Social media also facilitates reconnecting with past partners or meeting new individuals, often in covert ways. It's essential to be mindful of these risks and use social media to respect your relationship and your partner.
A WORD FROM MENTAL NURTURING:
Cheating and infidelity can have lasting and far-reaching effects on the mental health of the betrayed partner, from emotional trauma and a loss of trust to depression, anxiety, and PTSD. Research indicates that men tend to view partner sexual infidelity more negatively than emotional infidelity, significantly more so than women. This emphasizes that individuals respond uniquely to trauma and betrayal, making it crucial to acknowledge the differences in healing after cheating.
It's essential for individuals who have been betrayed to open up and seek support from mental health professionals, close friends, or support groups to break the stigma of mental illness and to cope with betrayal. Forgiveness is a complex and emotionally taxing process. Many betrayed partners struggle to process the pain, even with attempts to let go; the lingering emotional scars can affect overall well-being and future relationships. Cognitive behavioral therapy is found to be helpful in emotional recovery from cheating. Professional guidance and relationship counseling can provide the tools to learn self-awareness, mindfulness, emotional intelligence, and resilience. Remember, you are not alone in this journey. People and resources are available to help you heal and rebuild your trust and self-worth.
RESOURCES:
1- Winslow, C. (2024, June 25). 7 Long-Term Psychological Effects of Infidelity & How to cope. Marriage Advice - Expert Marriage Tips & Advice.
https://www.marriage.com/advice/infidelity/long-term-psychological-effects-of-infidelity/"
2- Aignesberger, V., & Greitemeyer, T. (2024). Morality in romantic relationships: The role of moral disengagement in relationship satisfaction, definitions of infidelity, and committed cheating. Personal Relationships, 31(3), 606–627.
https://doi.org/10.1111/pere.12552
3- Buunk, B. P., & Dijkstra, P. (2006). The ultimate betrayal? infidelity and solidarity in close relationships. In Springer eBooks (pp. 111–124).
https://doi.org/10.1007/0-387-28032-4_7
4- Ghiasi N, Rasoal D, Haseli A, Feli R. The interplay of attachment styles and marital infidelity: A systematic review and meta-analysis. Heliyon. 2023 Dec 3;10(1):e23261. doi: 10.1016/j.heliyon.2023.e23261. PMID: 38163207; PMCID: PMC10754894.
Written by:
Rumsha Abdul Aziz, MS Psychology,
On April 10, 2025
