BUSTING THE SUPERMOM MYTH
- A good mom enjoys every part of motherhood.
- A good mom puts her family first.
- A good mom can do it all.
- A good mom has well-behaved kids.
- A good mom doesn’t miss her pre-parent life.
- A good mom never yells at her kids.
The origins of the supermom myth, its psychological effects, and the need to redefine motherhood in more supportive, realistic terms that put mothers' mental health and genuine thriving ahead of perfection are all covered in this article.
CULTURAL & SOCIETAL PRESSURE ON MOTHERS:
The supermom myth has its origins in cultural and societal norms that push women to achieve success in both their personal and professional life at the same time. Mothers are supposed to be selfless, incredibly loving, and able to handle all of their tasks without seeming to suffer in many cultures. By presenting carefully manicured pictures of ideal homes, well-behaved kids, and mothers who seem calm and busy all the time, the media and social media platforms reinforce this ideal. Mothers compare themselves to these unattainable standards and try to "do it all," which results in internalized pressure in addition to external strain.
A study was conducted by interviewing 95 married mothers to explore how they shape their identities as workers and parents within a cultural context that has conflicting mothering ideologies. It concluded that cultural narratives surrounding intensive mothering suggest that effective parenting is synonymous with maternal self-sacrifice.
PSYCHOLOGICAL IMPACT OF THE PERFECTION MYTH:
The supermom ideal, which represents the pursuit of perfection, can have serious psychological repercussions. According to research, moms who feel pressured to live up to these expectations frequently suffer from increased stress, anger, and self-doubt. Mothers who are constantly compared to carefully manicured "highlight reels" on social media may feel even more alone and inadequate because they think they are the only ones going through difficult times or that others are handling things with ease. Unfortunately, the toxic beliefs about motherhood make many women suffer from issues like postpartum depression, suicidal thoughts, anxiety and panic in silence rather than getting a diagnosis and cure.
THE IMPORTANCE OF REALISTIC EXPECTATIONS AND SUPPORT:
Overcoming the Supermom myth starts with embracing the notion that “good enough” truly suffices. Fostering better mental health requires recognizing one's own boundaries and setting reasonable expectations. Building a solid support network is essential, whether it comes from friends, family, partners, or professional resources. When parental duties are shared and there is community support, maternal stress dramatically decreases.
According to research conducted on 1,933 adults, new parents differ from their childless counterparts in several ways, including social and psychological resources, daily stressors, and overall psychological well-being. The findings indicated that parents experience higher levels of stress compared to those without children. Importantly, fostering candid, open discussions about the genuine challenges of motherhood can help destigmatize imperfection and promote emotional resilience among parents.
HOW TO BREAK THE SUPERMOM MYTH?
The evidence is clear: perfection is neither realistic nor necessary for effective parenting or personal fulfillment. Instead, research advocates for a more compassionate and flexible approach, where mothers are encouraged to do their best, accept their limitations, and seek professional support when needed. Mothers should emphasize mindfulness, better sleep and nutrition for herself, and cultivate real connections within their families by letting go of the supermom myth. Crucially, research indicates that, in contrast to authoritarian or perfectionistic methods, authoritative parenting—which is defined by warmth, structure, and reasonable expectations—promotes healthier results for mothers and children. Mothers can restore balance and joy in their parenting journeys by letting go of perfectionism and talking about the difficulties.
A WORD FROM MENTAL NURTURING:
The supermom myth, with its demand for perfection in all aspects of motherhood, is a powerful but ultimately unrealistic and potentially harmful societal ideal. While some mothers may find motivation in striving for excellence, the majority experience increased stress, shame, and diminished well-being when attempting to live up to impossible standards. Research underscores that true fulfillment and effective parenting come not from flawless performance, but from self-awareness, resilience, and authentic connection with one’s children and community.
The label of a perfectionist mom often serves as a justification for a mother's relentless workload, placing the expectation on her to constantly sacrifice her own needs in the name of motherhood. This narrative not only undermines her well-being but reinforces the unsustainable notion that a mother’s worth is defined by her ability to meet unrealistic standards. By breaking the stigma and embracing imperfection, women can cultivate a healthier sense of self, model realistic expectations for their children, and foster a more supportive and compassionate family environment. Ultimately, it is not perfection, but presence, empathy, and self-compassion that define successful motherhood.
RESOURCES:
1. Shah, S. S., Chaudhry, S., & Shinde, S. (2025). Supermoms—Tired, admired, or inspired? Decoding the impact of supermom beliefs: A study on Indian employed mothers. PLoS ONE, 20(4), e0321665.
https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0321665
2. Curran, T., & Hill, A.P. (2017). Perfectionism is increasing over time: A meta-analysis of birth cohort differences. Psychological Bulletin, 143(4), 410–446.
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/29120036/
3. Milkie, M.A., Kendig, S.M., Nomaguchi, K.M., & Denny, K.E. (2008). Time with children, children’s well-being, and work-family balance. Journal of Marriage and Family, 70(5), 1320–1333.
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/19227697/
4. Alli. (2024, July 11). 10 Myths of being a good mom and how to overcome them -.
https://alliworthington.com/overcome-good-mom-myths/
Written by:
Rumsha Abdul Aziz, MS Psychology,
On 10 June, 2025
