Is Toxic Shame damaging your self-worth?
What is toxic shame?
One of the most immediate effects of physical activity on mental health is the enhancement of mood. When we exercise, our bodies release endorphins, often called 'feel-good' hormones.
Effects of toxic shame on mental health:
Toxic shame affects how we perceive ourselves, influencing our decisions & relationships. It can impact the mental health of a person in the following ways:
- Low self-esteem
- Poor-self image
- Difficulty forming healthy relationships
- Always seeking external validation
- Lack of trust on oneself
Recognizing and addressing toxic shame is crucial for healing and breaking the cycle of dysfunction.
Am I a victim of toxic household?
Use of toxic shame as a weapon in a household fosters an environment of fear and inadequacy, ensuring compliance and control while damaging the individual's mental and emotional well-being.
In a household where it’s considered normal to attack one’s core worth, victims have difficulty in development of sufficient self-esteem & confidence. Such individuals find themselves submerged in self-doubts & feelings of inadequacy over small mistakes and setbacks. It becomes very difficult for them to navigate through unfulfilled dreams, relationships & self-expression.
Use of Toxic shame as a manipulation technique:
In toxic households, toxic shame is used as a weapon to control and manipulate individuals, undermining their self-worth and autonomy. This insidious form of shame targets a person's core identity, making them feel inherently flawed and unworthy, rather than addressing a flawed behaviour. By continuously reinforcing these feelings, caregivers or authority figures exert power, create dependency, and maintain dominance.
The constant belittling and invalidation prevent individuals from developing healthy self-esteem, leading them to doubt their abilities and decisions. This psychological manipulation can stifle personal growth and perpetuate a cycle of dysfunction, where individuals may struggle to assert themselves or seek external validation. Ultimately, toxic shame in an unhealthy household serves as a powerful weapon that undermines emotional well-being and personal growth.
How to deal with Toxic Shame?
Dealing with toxic shame involves several key steps:
- Recognize and acknowledge the difference between toxic shame and ordinary guilt.
- Challenge negative self-beliefs by questioning their validity and seeking evidence of your worth.
- Develop self-compassion by treating yourself with the kindness and understanding you’d offer a friend.
- Establish healthy boundaries and seek support from a therapist or support groups to address underlying issues and build self-esteem.
- Engaging in positive self-affirmations and practicing mindfulness can also help mitigate the effects of toxic shame.
- Fostering a positive self-image and resilience.
A WORD FROM MENTAL NURTURING:
It is not uncommon to witness households where such devastating practices are carried out by people in authority. It is tough to be optimistic & look out for the silver lining in such settings.
One has to recognize the situation & find ways to deal with destructive patterns. Addressing toxic shame is essential for fostering emotional well-being and personal growth. By distinguishing it from ordinary guilt, individuals can challenge the negative self-perceptions it creates. Building self-compassion, setting healthy boundaries, and seeking professional support are crucial steps in mitigating its impact.
Engaging in practices such as positive affirmations and mindfulness helps reinforce a positive self-image. Ultimately, confronting and healing from toxic shame empowers individuals to reclaim their self-worth, cultivate healthier relationships, and pursue their goals with confidence. Breaking free from the grip of toxic shame is a transformative process that leads to a more fulfilling and authentic life.
RESOURCES:
1. RichardNicastro. (2023, April 17). The Destructive Path of toxic Shame | Richard Nicastro, PhD. Richard Nicastro, PhD.
https://richardnicastro.com/2023/04/17/the-destructive-path-of-toxic-shame/
2. Lmft, D. L. J. (2023c, August 25). How Shame Feels and What Makes it Toxic. What Is Codependency?
https://whatiscodependency.com/toxic-shame-low-self-esteem/
3. What is toxic shame? (2024, February 25). WebMD
https://www.webmd.com/mental-health/what-is-toxic-shame/
Written By:
Rumsha Abdul Aziz, MS Psychology
On September 30, 2024
